There are some 55,000 foster families in the UK, caring for almost 80,000 children and young people who are unable to live with their birth families, for a multiplicity of reasons. Many of these boys and girls suffered neglect or abuse for some years before the authorities intervened, and have lived at the fringes of the care system. Many will remain in care until adulthood, and will likely spend time with two, three or even four families along the way.
Not every child in care will suffer from mental health issues. But many will, and the mere act of being forced apart from mum and dad to live with strangers, even if it is only for a matter of weeks, raises profound questions. Many children blame themselves for what has happened, and struggle to live with the burden.
At safe base we offer all our carers monthly training, online training, an 8 week PACE course with a psychotherapist and regularly support and advocate that our children who need CAMHS, MAPS, or menatl health services are referred to the right departments to be fully supported around their health and well being.
The state, as corporate parent, owes a duty of care to children who are fostered, which should include an urgent assessment of mental health needs, followed by appropriate support, regardless of the proposed plan for permanency.
As a foster carer here are some top tips to help you support your young person:
Be there to listen
Regularly ask how they’re doing so they get used to talking about their feelings and know there’s always someone to listen if they want it. Find out how to create a space where they will open up.
Stay involved in their life.
Show interest in their life and the things important to them. It not only helps them value who they are but also makes it easier for you to spot problems and support them.
Take what they say seriously
Listening to and valuing what they say, without judging their feelings, in turn makes them feel valued. Consider how to help them process and work through their emotions in a more constructive way.
Support them through difficulties.
Pay attention to their emotions and behaviour, and try to help them work through difficulties. It’s not always easy when faced with challenging behaviour, but try to help them understand what they’re feeling and why.
Encourage their interests
Being active or creative, learning new things and being a part of a team help connect us with others and are important ways we can all help our mental health. Support and encourage them to explore their interests, whatever they are.
Build positive routines
We know it still may not be easy, but try to reintroduce structure around regular routines, healthy eating and exercise. A good night’s sleep is also really important – try to get them back into routines that fit with school or college
